Universally Applicable Sample Essay 零分爆笑讽刺范文#1

I wrote these 零分爆笑讽刺范文(Zero score humorous satirical sample essays) in 2006 to make fun of those inane, generic, written by formula, and often of very poor quality essays that were hastily put together and put up on Chinese cram-school websites as “solution sample essays” by self proclaimed “Star Teachers” or “Grand Masters” of English.
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#1 零分万能范文

这不是万能范文。这是“必不背的零分范文”
Topic: Any Topic

Level: CET4/6, TEM4,6,8,10,100, Graduate entrance exam, Ielts…

Word Count requirement: No less than 150
(这不是范文, 是讽刺性文章。不是跟 CET6 考试作文提目上的大纲而写。我不是英语大师。文章上有错误。
这是娱乐性文章,不是范文。
)

With society developing and China joining the WTO, we witness an increasing number of scientific and technological developments. This issue has become a hot-button issue, and is generating a lot of concern among students, teachers, parents and everybody else in our society. The reasons for that are many.

Firstly, this is another case of a coin has two sides. Secondly, we all want to live better lives and have a bright future. Last but not least, it’s all the fault of the Japanese, so let us stage a flag burning protest right after this exam.

On the other hand, some people say that’s not true. They think it’s just the opposite. But I don’t agree with them.

What can be done about it? Our government must pass new legislations to deal with it. Our police must be more vigilant in watching out for offenders. We must all work a lot harder, for that will bring us all a brighter future.

   Based on the reasons above, I am in favour of the latter view. So let us all work hard, have faith in the government, and hope that will make finding jobs easier and that we will all have a brighter future.

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